Sunday, August 4, 2013

A Penny for Every Tear

Sydney and Easton

Bruce and Beastie
Josh and Easton

Spencer and Easton

Dallin and Easton

Beastie walking Zoe

Best "fwends" in the sandbox at the Collins

One of Easton's favorite toys at the Collins

Dallin and Eastie

Spencer swinging Easton in their backyard

Astros game for military recognition night

"Mom" Nicole

If I got a penny for each tear shed the past few months, or even just this week,  I would be rich.  I have had quite an emotional few months since Easton died, but this week has been extra tough as well.  Last weekend started off emotional as we visited with family in Dallas at my sister in laws.  The last time we went to Dallas before Easton died was at Thanksgiving, so being together with family there brought fun memories and sadness as I long to hold my baby boy.  This week was also tough as we visited many days, for different amounts of time, as we tried to help our friends, the Collins family, pack up to move to Saudi Arabia.  These are not just any friends.  This is a family so close to us with a bond that is not easily explained.  Nicole Collins is one of my closest friends, because she said yes when I asked her to watch my kids while we went on a week long cruise.  She is crazy and said yes!  It was that week that she and Easton became such close spirits.  She was a second mom to Easton.  Nicole would watch Easton frequently, because she didn't like if I asked someone else to watch him when I went to a doctor appointment or dentist appointment, etc.  Sometimes she would just take him because she loved spending time with him.  Sydney, her daughter, is our regular babysitter for date night.  Their entire family sits with us at church and they used to compete with each other for Easton's attention to allow them each a turn to hold him and love on him.  But Easton would always scan down the row and pass everyone up until he reached Nicole. It was rare for a day to go by over the past year that Nicole and Easton didn't see each other.  He loves her so much and she loves him.  I loved to watch them together and just awed at the love Easton has for her.  Some moms may have been jealous having their baby call another woman mom.  I am just so thankful that I had a precious little boy who knew how to love more than anyone could imagine.  As we were at their house this week trying to help pack up, I couldn't help but picture him there at the house doing some of his favorite activities or playing with his favorite toys.  I could picture in my mind some of the videos we have of him playing with the neighbors dog, or picturing Easton playing with Zoe or in the sand box, on the trampoline, or swinging. One thing Nicole pointed out to help me realize is that there are so many memories at their house of things Easton loved to do because he loved everything.  That sweet boy just loved life and loved everyone and everything!  Two months ago changed the dynamic of our family and our pew at church will never be the same without him.  Our family will never be the same either.  But tomorrow I will shed more tears, because this sweet family that we love so much will be leaving us for three years to live half way across the world from us.  As their house becomes empty and I picture our church pew empty, my heart breaks again knowing such dear friends that share such a strong bond with Easton will be so far away.  I am so thankful for Nicole and all she did for our family.  I am not sure if she realizes it, but because they had such a special bond, we have many pictures and videos of his life that we would have missed out on.  So yes, if I had a penny for every tear I would be rich.  Instead of money for each tear, I will give thanks and count my blessings with each tear, which I would take over any dollar amount any day.  Money can't buy happiness, peace, and joy.  Although I feel sadness in missing my sweet baby and knowing I won't see my close friends except once a year, I also cry tears of joy as I remember how blessed I am to have been blessed with a perfect angel and loving friends.  Sweet Easton, you are greatly missed.  Collins family you will be greatly missed.  Until we meet again!!

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